Seeing Through His Eyes

(I have been so busy with my new job and with managing my family without my husband as he is away for his new job that I have not had much time to write in my blog.  I have been asking God if He wants me to continue writing and have realized that maybe I just need to write whatever He teaches me, not trying so hard to perfect it.  So here is the imperfect version of what He taught me today! :)

…as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.  Isa. 62:5

Lately I have been feeling negative about all the changes in our life, like everything is wrong.  But this morning at work, unexpectedly, God impressed upon my heart optimism.  Suddenly, I felt excited about life again!  I felt joy and enthusiasm.  After He does that everything seems better.  I feel more confident and friendly.  I feel approved of by Him and do not worry as much about receiving other’s approval.  I feel at peace and my anxieties are calmed.  Then I am relaxed as I work.  All of life is better when He gives me just a little glimpse through His eyes.  Thank You, Sweet God.

Then this afternoon, He gave me the above Isa. 62 verse about being His bride and how He rejoices over us.  Isn’t that awesome??  God rejoices over us!  When I am again reminded of how deeply and intimately He loves me, even as a bride, and when that aspect of our relationship is restored and active again, all is well.  All else pales in comparison.  All else is less important than the overwhelming fact that the God of the Universe is intimately in love with me.

Rescued from Doubt

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Psa. 34:17-18

During this time, a lot of things are hard with jobs, finances, and my husband being gone all the time.  I vacillate between trusting and doubting God.  I will be confident in Him, sure that He is working everything out for our good, and then some new problem will arise, and my fragile trust crumbles.

After a few days of doubting God and His goodness, I am miserable.  I can’t seem to get myself out of this state until I remember that I can ask God for help.  I can ask Him to make me want His will, to make me enjoy it.  I ask Him to help me love Him and to trust Him.  I ask Him to help me want to please Him and to make it my heart’s desire.

Then I will go about my day and, amazingly realize that my attitude has changed.  I am feeling content and at peace.  Suddenly the thing that was so upsetting to me does not seem to bother me so much any more.  I can enjoy God, and I want to please Him again.

Thank You God that we can ask You for whatever we are lacking, and You willingly provide what we need to follow You and to even to enjoy it.  Thank You that you are so patient, understanding, and forgiving when we doubt.  And thank You that You provide a way for us to be rescued out and at peace again.  We are in love with You and in awe of You, Amazing God.  You are worthy of all our worship.  In Jesus name, Amen.

His Constant Presence

The Lord replied, ‘My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.’  Ex. 33:14

Since I’ve begun my job, I’ve found that it is tolerable.  In fact, I’ll tell you a secret.  I’ll even admit that I was actually looking forward to coming to work this morning! lol  How did this happen??  It blows my mind, considering that I was once totally opposed to going back to work.

Not only that, but I find this strange sense of calm, peace, and contentment.  One of the things I was really concerned about was not having as much time alone with God.  But I’ve found that He has given me this steady sense of His presence with me, even at my job of looking at car VIN #’s and stock #’s all day.  Even with no Christian music playing.  Even without talking about Him all day.  He has given me this continual sense that He is here.  He is with me through all parts of my day – even during my secular work.

And this has resulted in a constant sense of peace and contentment – in my job and in His constant presence.  Amazing the miracles He can do!

Thank You God that You can do what I thought was impossible.  You can make me find joy and peace and contentment in the very things I was once so opposed to before.  Once again, I stand in awe of what you can do in me.  I love You Jesus.  Amen.

 

The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save…He will quiet you with His love…  Zeph. 3:17

His Pleasing, Perfect Will

But those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.  Isa. 40:31

I started my new job last Tuesday.  As much as I was fighting God on it for so long, it has turned out not to be as bad as I expected!  I realize this is why God says not to worry, because what we imagine is often much worse than it turns out to be in reality.  Then we have “lived” through this worse reality over and over in our minds that God never even intended for us.  It would have been better for me just to trust that He has good planned for me!

My coworkers turned out to be very nice.  I’ve found that what I’m doing actually fits my skills pretty well so I am even half enjoying the job.  And what God has taught me before about working in His strength with little things, like chores around the house, is being applied here too.  He is strengthening and empowering me to do this new job.  I don’t feel nearly as tired as I would expect when starting a new job.  In fact, I even find joy and satisfaction in doing it, His good, pleasing, and perfect will for me.

 …His good, pleasing and perfect will.  Rom. 12:2

Never Alone

We are doing the study, Warrior Chicks by Holly Wagner at my church.  The author wrote about a time when she dealt with cancer and God had provided for her just what she needed during a moment of despair.  This reminded me of what I’ve been through lately.  The last six months have been very hard.  My husband has lost his job and is training to be a truck driver.  He is gone for weeks at a time and is not making much money.

I am left at home to fill in all the gaps that he has left behind.  It has been difficult, and there are moments when I have been overwhelmed and at the end of my rope, with no husband beside me to provide a shoulder to cry on.

One Sunday at our church, I was having one of my bad days.  I was debating whether I’d sign up for this Bible study, unsure if I had time to do it or even if I could afford it.  I finally broke down into tears…all over a sweet lady at church!  She gave me a big hug and offered to pay my fee for the Bible study.  Then the Bible study teacher gave me a hug and asked if I wanted to help facilitate.  It meant so much to me that these ladies cared enough about me to share my pain.  And, as if that weren’t enough, someone made sure that I had a whole bowlful of goodies to take home after the bake sale we had for the women’s ministry that Sunday.  And later I heard that at least three other people were willing to pay my fee for the study as well.

These things may seem little, but they meant so much to me.  They were just what I needed at just the right time to reassure me that God cares about me and loves me.  They are little tokens of His affection.

And so I find that even though my husband is gone much of the time, God is providing just what I need through the other people around me.  I am blessed to belong to my church whose members listen to God and care for others who are struggling.  I am finding that through God’s loving care, I really am never alone.

Loved for Who He Is

“The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”  Job 1:21

My husband, Dave, had started training to be a truck driver four weeks ago and finally got to come home last Thursday!  He’s home for a week and then will be gone for another four to six weeks.  It seems like things have gone from bad to worse lately.  A year ago, Dave had his own business, working out of our home.  We were comfortable with the amount of money we were making.  I did not have to work and had plenty of time to seek God and write.  Dave was home all the time, and the girls and I got to spend lots of time with him.  He helped me with the chores, with the kids, with my emotional stability (lol), with everything.  And now he is gone most the time.

The company that he is driving for does not pay well and treats their employees pretty badly.  It seems that they are happier to continually hire and train new drivers than they are to keep the ones they’ve already got.  And even though I fought it tooth and nail, I am starting a part-time job next week.  I was talking with Dave, asking him why things seem to have gone so badly.  How could God have let things take such a bad turn in so many different areas? 

And then God reminded me of Job.  He had a very blessed life, and then He lost it all, his children, his servants, and his animals.  And then he became sick.  (Wow, I’m starting to appreciate that my trials aren’t that bad!)  Satan had insinuated that Job only loved God for the good things He had given him.   So God allowed satan to take these things away, within limits, and Job proved God right.  Job continued to trust Him throughout this whole ordeal.

I feel like Job.  We had life just the way we wanted it before.  We were content with our money, our job, out time together.  And now much of it has been taken away, and things are so hard from many different angles.  And I believe the point is to prove that we love God, not for the good things He gives us, but just for God, Himself.  Will we still love and adore Him when things aren’t as good as they used to be?  Is our love based on what He can give us?  Or is it just based on who He is?

He is still our precious, perfect, beautiful, GOOD God, and I do love Him, even when everything seems to be going wrong.  God is allowing us to prove this fact to ourselves, and to all of heaven and earth who are watching.  And my glimmer of hope is that at the end of the story of Job, when Job’s testing was over, God restored everything that he had, even twice what he had before.  But no matter how our story ends, God is good, and He loves us.  His current plan for us is a perfect, loving plan. So we can rest in that fact of who He is, and we can kneel before Him in awe and reverence and adoration and say, “We submit to Your will because we trust You, precious Father.  We love You, Jesus.  Amen.”

“The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first…”  Job 42:12

Warriors of God’s Heart

We started a new women’s Bible study at our church about the book, Warrior Chicks, by Holly Wagner.  This is what I wrote for it:

Mary…sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what He said.  But Martha was distracted by all the preparations…“Lord, don’t You care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself?  Tell her to help me!”  “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”  Luke 10:39-42

Before we can focus on our battles, we must first focus on God.  In the story of Mary and Martha, Martha had set out to conquer her job without first spending time in the presence of Jesus.  As a result, she was all out of sorts and unhappy at her post.  But Mary sat at Jesus’ feet, listening to Him, resting in His presence, and enjoying Him.  And Jesus defended her by saying that she had made the better choice and that it would not be taken from her. 

As we sit in God’s presence, praying, reading the Bible, and just being quiet before Him,  He shows us what our battles are and how He wants us to proceed.  As we gaze on His loving face, we begin to see who He is and how deeply He loves us.  We are captivated by Him, and we start to become like Him.  Soon His desires become our desires.  We want to please and obey Him because we love Him.  This empowers us to fight our battles to the end, and we become passionate warriors of God’s heart. 

Now, we are ready to go out and fight for Him, with Him, having been prepared by Him as we rest in the presence of our gentle, loving Warrior King. 

He testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse a man after My own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’  Acts 13:22

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  Ps. 73:26

Beautiful

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Psa. 139:14

For we are God’s masterpiece.  Eph. 2:10 (NLT)

At our women’s bible study on Monday, we were talking about how women in general do not see themselves as beautiful, especially in a culture so obsessed with physical beauty.  It tells us that there is always something wrong with us, something that needs to be changed.  But God made us beautiful!  He has lovingly, expertly created us, just the way He wanted us to be so that we could accomplish His purposes.

One thing that makes me feel beautiful is knowing that God loves me.  When I spend time with Him, I begin to see that He delights in my presence.  He delights in me!  He is pleased with me.  How awesome and beyond belief is that?  The most beautiful, powerful, perfect, and desirable being in the Universe delights in me?!

He makes me feel so thoroughly loved and accepted, just the way I am.  Once I begin to see myself through His eyes, it even changes the way I see myself physically.  Sometimes as I walk past the mirror, my reflection captures my attention, and suddenly as if seeing through His eyes, I am surprised to see beauty.  And I hear His tender thoughts about me,   “I cherish you.  I love you.  You are beautiful to Me.”  And when He says it, it is true!  Amen!

All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you.  SS 4:7

The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love.  Psa. 149:11

Learning to Walk on Water

“Lord, if it’s You,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to You on the water.”  “Come,” He said.  Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink cried out, “Lord, save me!”  Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him…[and] said, “why did you doubt?”  Matt. 14:28-31

Everything is so hard these days.  But I look at Jesus, and He holds out His hand and says, “Come!”  So, I fix my eyes on Him, captivated by His Presence, and step out of the boat.  I find that with Him I can walk freely as a conqueror above my circumstances, even when things are hard, delighting in His will as He makes it my pleasure.

But then a new wrinkle in these hard circumstances occurs, something I had not expected.  Its just one more thing, and I feel like I have reached my limit.  I begin to doubt God’s goodness after all.   Instead of keeping my eyes on Beautiful Jesus next to me, trusting Him, I look at the water and the wind and the waves.  I begin to wonder, what am I doing out here?  Am I crazy?  Trying to walk on water???  And I panic.  I start flailing around wildly and begin to sink. 

Finally in my desperation I cry out to my Jesus, “Help!  I’m sorry I stopped trusting You!  I’m sorry I tried to retake control of my life and became suspicious of You.  Rescue me!”  And He smiles that radiant smile and reaches out to catch my hand.  He lifts me up and takes me safely and securely into His arms and His perfect plan for me.

Suddenly I am back above the waves, doing the impossible, walking above my circumstances again and believing that God is good.  And next time I begin to sink, His hand will be right there to catch me.

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.  Isa. 41:10

God Stalls the Garbage Truck

He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.  Job 8:21

God has been doing amazing things to help me take over my husband’s responsibilities while he is gone training to be a truck driver.  Last time I wrote about God helping me to get my car repaired.  This time He helped me with the garbage truck! 

I had my daughter take the garbage to the curb Tuesday night, the usual time, and then she brought it back Wednesday afternoon, not noticing that the can was still full!  I figured this out early this morning as the screech of the garbage truck brakes rudely woke me out of my deep sleep.  In my groggy mind I am wondering, why was the truck coming this morning?  Oh yeah…it was Labor Day on Monday.  That means that the whole garbage schedule was pushed back a day this week, and we had missed our day.

By the time I heard it, the truck was already in front of our house.  There was no way I was going to sprint out of my bed, in my nightgown, to get the garbage out in time!  So I leisurely got up, got dressed, and went outside to see how far away the truck had made it by then.  Strangely, all of the cans up to my house were left with the tops open, meaning that they had been picked up.  But the cans further than my house were still closed.  The truck hadn’t gotten them yet.  For some reason, the truck stopped at my house and left.

That meant that I still had time to get the garbage out!  I rolled it out, and about 10 minutes later the truck came back and started with my can!  God, in His mercy on my inexperience at doing Dave’s usual jobs, provided some extra time for me to get my can out on this Holiday week.  Imagine…what are the chances that the truck would stop right in front of my house??  He promised to help me when Dave was gone, and He is doing that in so many amazing ways!

God, this would be so hard having Dave gone for so long if not for You.  You take such good care of me.  I sit in continual amazement at how You care for us when we are in such great need of You.  Praise You, my Sweet God.