All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. Psa. 139:16
As we learn to deal with job and financial struggles, I have found that I experience God’s grace day-to-day. It’s almost like being carried spiritually through it all. We are learning that we haven’t ever really been the ones to provide for ourselves, and especially now we know we aren’t able to provide everything we need for ourselves. God provides for us. He always has, but its easy to ignore when everything is going fine. So in this learning to depend on Him, I find myself sometimes closer to Him. It’s not anything I do. In fact, now more than before I struggle with spending enough time alone with Him and with conquering bad habits that I thought I had already conquered. But yet I find Him close sometimes throughout the day. I find myself thinking about Him, smiling to inwardly in His direction at the little connection with Him. I find little interactions throughout the day, a touch or a moment shared as we think of each other. Sometimes I think I am learning to experience a little bit of what Brother Lawrence called “practicing the presence of God” in his book by the same name. He says he learned to experience God’s presence every day through faith, even as he was going about his work in the kitchen or whatever he was doing that day.
This morning as I pulled into the parking lot at work, I prayed my usual prayer, “God, please help me love people. Help me to be accurate in my work. Help me to be close to You and to connect with You throughout the day. Help me to do Your will.” And sometimes I forget to pray this last part, but this morning I did pray, “Put together my day.” Sometimes when I pray that and really look to see what He has planned for me, I have the most interesting days and find myself endeared to Him as I realize that He has planned specific events tailored just for me.
So after my prayer, I went in to work and did my usual stuff. I can leave when I’ve finished my work, and today I found I did not have much to do. This was convenient because my Mom had knee surgery yesterday and was still in the hospital. I could go right to the hospital, which is much closer to work than to my home. I called my Dad to see what was going on at the hospital and he was just leaving to go have lunch at a Thai restaurant. I had not had lunch yet and I love Thai food, so this was perfect timing! I drove to the hospital, picked up my Dad, and we enjoyed our Thai lunch!
Then we drove back to the hospital, and I spent some time with my Mom. After I left, I still had to go grocery shopping. I had lots of energy before but was now finally starting to droop. Although tired, I enjoyed shopping because I was still aware of God’s presence with me. As I drove home, I began to see the most amazing sunset! The sky glowed with a soft pink and orange. But then as I turned the corner to enter the highway, in all three of my rearview mirrors I saw the sun blazing, a gloriously large, low, fiery orangey-pink fireball. It was really breathtaking! And it was shining at me through all three rearview mirrors! I couldn’t miss it! It was awesome! And I saw it as a blessing, a gift from God, for no other reason than to say that He loves me.
When I finally got home I was tired. It was dinner time, and I still had to put the groceries away and make dinner. As I’m in my bedroom changing, my 12-year-old comes in and says, “Mom, is it okay if I make dinner tonight?” At first, I’m thinking I already had something planned and that I would probably do a better job. But then I thought, my daughter is offering to cook! This doesn’t happen too often! I’d better take her up on it! And when I asked her about it, she actually had a pretty good plan, so I told her to go for it. Then completely seperately, my 15-year old was also planning to make desert that night! Now this doesn’t happen too often either. God had it all planned out after my long, tiring day, to even get my girls to make dinner and desert for me. Who would have thought??
So I sat and rested for a minute while the girls cooked. My husband came home just as it was finished. We all sat down and ate a meal that was delicious, all the more so because I didn’t make it!! :) I felt really blessed and cared for as I thought of how God had answered my prayer from that morning to plan my day. He really did a great job and surprised me with how it all turned out, really much better than I could have planned myself. Plus it is just so much more fun to see what He has in mind and to accept the things that happen as gifts from Him, tokens of love and His care, catalysts for worshipping Him and drawing closer to Him.
Thank You God for the amazing plans you have for our days!
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