For those of you who don’t know me, I can be a bit…bossy…and critical (gasp!) lol, especially to my husband. I can be nice and sweet to everyone else in the world, but my husband gets to hear exactly what I’m thinking sometimes. I guess the good part of that is that I feel comfortable with him to be myself. But the bad thing is that I want to be building him up with my words not tearing him down.
I was reading a quote from Gary Chapman from Love Language Moments which said that “One of the most common complaints men make in my office is: ‘Dr. Chapman, in my work I am respected. People come to me for advice. But at home, all I get is criticism.’ What she considers suggestions, he reads as criticism…The fastest way to influence a husband is to give him praise. Praise him for effort, not perfection…Your praise urges him on to greater accomplishments. My challenge is to look for things your husband is doing right and praise him. Praise him in private, praise him in front of the children, praise him in front of your parents and his parents, praise him in front of his peers. Then stand back and watch him go for the gold.”
As I’m reading this I’m remembering criticizing my husband this weekend, of course, trying to be helpful (and bossy! lol). But I don’t think he took it that way. Then as I’m thinking about this, the song Words by Hawk Nelson comes on the radio. (You think God is trying to tell me something??)
Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart
Or put it out
Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don’t want to say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
And I know this is true. I know I have the power to hurt people or lift them up with my words, especially my husband. So, God, please help me to do better. Help me to love my husband the way you want me to. I know we can do all things in your strength. Thank you for Your help. In Jesus Name, amen.