“[Jesus speaking:] Sometimes the relationship I offer you seems too good to be true. I pour My very life into you, and all you have to do is receive Me. In a world characterized by working and taking, the admonition to rest and receive seems too easy. There is an intricate connection between receiving and believing: As you trust Me more and more, you are able to receive Me and My blessings abundantly. Be still and know that I am God. (Ps. 46:10)” Young
I have been struggling with so much for the past few months, wondering why God has allowed my infection to continue, concerned about my husband’s job, struggling with what God’s purpose is for my writing. I was beginning to doubt if I can even hear God’s voice at all, and as a result if He still wants to have an intimate relationship with me.
I was telling my friend, Bajanpoet, about it, and he told me I needed to stop doubting God. Later, God kept bringing those words back to my mind. God was telling me to stop doubting Him. When I doubt, it makes it harder for me to hear Him and feel Him. He may whisper words of love in my ear, but if I doubt, then I put up a wall and basically deflect His affection. And then I wonder why I am not feeling close to God!
So somehow after months of struggle, God made it click! I’ve been doubting Him, thus putting up a barrier to receiving His love! All I have to do is believe! It IS Him. And when I believe, it is like opening the door for Him to come in. I get to receive more of Him! He IS whispering “Darling” in my ear. He IS brushing my cheek with a tender kiss as my thoughts turn toward Him throughout the day. It IS Him! He loves me! And He loves you too!
Praise You, tender, loving, gentle God.
Young, Sarah. Jesus Calling. Brentwood, TN: Integrity Publishers, 2004. 77.
"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17
thanks Cyndi! - warrenfamilylife.blogspot.com
thank you IJ! - channelofhealing.com
thanks Robin! - girlforgod.wordpress.com
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The pressure’s off, by larry crabb.
Hey Jenny, I tried to reply to you on Wendy’s blog but it won’t go through for some reason. Yes, I have a blog but I am too lazy to put it on all of my comments. :)
I loved this post of yours. I have had the same struggle. I have learned (I am hoping it is permanent) to trust what the Bible says when everything in my circumstances and flesh are screaming something different. It makes all the difference in the world. :)
Keep enjoying Him!
Dathbeforedenial, Thanks for your comment! God bless!
Tawny, so glad you found my blog! I am learning too to believe the Bible and God’s promises in it, and that I can stand on God’s Word even when things don’t “feel” right, because they don’t always!
I was having a different problem though. God was trying to interact with me, and I was doubting that it was Him, inadvertantly pushing Him away. I realized I need to stop doubting those little promptings of His presence. I’m such a doubter naturally!
Thanks for stopping by! Bless you!
Oh, I see what you are saying. :)
Thank you for your sweet comment on my blog too!
I see you found tawnys blog (to find in from my blog i have it under Learning to live–jsut so you know)–i also agree with your post alot–i know my doubts is a problem for me also–and all my questions–and it goes back to my spiritual abuse–something i struggle and have to work on–just really don’t know how–such a viscious circle for me–and hopefully will get through–you are so right though–once the doubts start–warps and block everything.
wendy
hello Jenny
I think we all struggle with doubting God sometimes especially when we have been waiting for a long time. But what i have learned and am still reminded of sometimes is that i just need to rest and be still. Resting is like trusting. We have made our petitions known now we can rest assured that He has heard and that He will take care of things :)
God bless you jenny
Tamela:)
It can be difficult to stay close when He seems so far away. I really think that times like those is when we need to chase Him the most. Always stay close and always stay connected.
Great post.
Sweet words to my soul today. I am believing God and am waiting to see what He’s going to do next!
Blessings – Lisa
Wen, yes, I found Tawny’s blog. Thanks! I know, those doubts are a problem for me! We’ll just haev to keep asking God to help us believe and trust Him. Bless you, Wen!
Tammy, you’re right! That was the verse quoted in my devotional that I quoted in the blog! First she talked about trusting God and then being still! Thanks! Jenny
David, thankfully God doesn’t seem far away to me. I just feel confused, not sure of where He is taking me. I guess I just need to hold on for the ride! Chasing Him sounds good. In the end, He is what I want most , even if I never figure all this other stuff out! :) Thanks for encouragement!
Lisa, thanks for your encouragement! Yes, God always has great plans in store for us, doesn’t He? We just have to keep sticking with Him and trusting Him until we get there. Bless you! Jenny
:) So much of this walk is about trust. Worry is a strangler to trust. It’s a thorn. Choking out the life of the seed. (Jesus actually mentioned worry by name as a thorn in the parable of the sower.) Therefore, I declare to YOU, Jenny, that YOU are not a worrier. Worry has no part in your identity, just as a thorn has no place in a garden. You are not growing a garden of thorns. You are growing a harvest of the good fruits of righteousness in keeping with repentance. That is your new identity. :D God is re-naming you.
Hi Annie, thanks so much for your prayer! Jenny
Hi jenny,
Yep, I think we’ve all been there at one time or another. One thing that I have learned is that when we doubt God, it’s like we put up a wall between Him and us and He is not able to work in our lives, it’s llike sin, and probably is a sin in a way if you think about it, b/c it is not glorifying to God. Just remember that when you find yourself doubting, recognize it, flee the devil (becasue most doubt is from him), and get on your knees and pray like a mad woman. God wants our surrender and our devotion. I know you know this,but just trying to encourage you too :) Praying for you my sister. Robin
hey–just wanted to let you know i replied to you reply on my blog :) and i appreciate and love every comment you make–we are all here to support, pray, and love each other-regardless what “season” we are going through-blessings wendy
Beautiful thoughts amid your struggle. I would offer up the devotional that God gave me for today from David’s struggled writing in Psalm 143. Ultimately, he “lifted up his soul to God”. What a thought. I pray God will continue to work in you and through you and your writing. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Thanks Wendy for your encouragement!
Brian, thanks for that Bible reference. Wendy has been referring to that chapter a lot too.
“I spread out my hands to You; my soul thrists for You like a parched land…Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul…I hide myself in You. Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; may Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.” Psalm 143:6-10