You have forsaken your First Love…Repent and do the things you did at first. Rev. 2:4
I have been struggling recently to put God first in my heart. I am used to having lots of alone time with Him while the kids are in school, but they are home now during the summer. It is a challenge to keep focused on Him. Then I went to New Mexico with my mom, which I know God wanted me to do. It was a lot of fun, but again it was lots of time with other people and not enough time with God. Then there’s the internet! It sucks me in and captures my time and attention, pulling it away from God.
My original request of God a little over a year ago was “How can I be close to You all the time?” (see Testimony) I was so frustrated with closeness with God for a while, then feeling far away from Him. He responded by asking me to give Him everything. I hesitantly agreed, and my life has never been the same since. God took off with me, glee on His face at finally being able to do His will in me! He amazed me with Himself, captivated me. He changed me. He answered my prayer and brought me consistently close to Him. It is the greatest thing I have ever experienced. I look back now and think, “Why did I wait 37 years to do this?” But I know God had to prepare me for it.
I cannot allow my relationship with Him to deteriorate. I must seek Him as my First Love. And I know He will do this miracle in me. He is in control. He can bring me even closer as I learn to put Him first again and again. All I need to do is submit to Him, my sin, my idols, and allow Him to make me uncomfortable as He changes me, with the end result being more intimacy with Him.
Father, forgive me for putting other things before You. Be my First Love. Teach me to seek You first above all else. I know You can do this, as You have already changed me in so many other ways I had thought were impossible. I praise You, and I submit to You. Thank You that You will not leave me this way, but are actively working in me to rescue me, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. I love You. Be my passion, my greatest desire. Reveal Yourself to me. Amaze me. Make me irrevocably, madly in love with You, so that I could not resist You, even if I wanted to (which I don’t!). I give You all of me. I love You. ♥
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow…Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. Psa. 51:7,10-12
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!...I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isa. 43:18,19
Sunday morning before leading worship, God gave me the same word for I had been telling Him that I was sorry for not giving and putting Him at the top of my list. God will not reject a humble and contrite spirit! Blessings!
That is awesome how He teaches people the same thing at the same time. I like the last thing you said, from later on in Psalm 51. You know, even though I’m still struggling with this issue, He has given me such a joy and love for Him as I attempt to submit to Him as He changes me. Isn’t He awesome?!